Posted by: jacksterja | 28 May, 2010


Yes, so let’s get this out of the way. I’m still sad. There are some things that happen and no matter what else happens you’ll always be sad. Even typing this those all-too-familiar prickles are behind my eyes, and I’m not really even talking about what happened.

That whole thing isn’t what I’m here to talk about, though. It’s too raw and too personal and still too painful, and maybe one day, but not today.

Instead I’m here to talk about yesterday. I’ve been trying to work out how I could come back here and write again for a while. This has always been a pretty light-hearted blog and I’ve kept it deliberately from anything too serious.

I don’t think that’s what this is going to end up as. For a start, I’m not sure I can do that honestly anymore. I don’t even think that that anyone’s really interested in hearing that if it doesn’t ring true.

Anyway, I had decided to come back and just start writing and see if it goes anywhere. And I chose yesterday as the day I was going to do that.

The 27th of May is always an interesting day for me. It seems a lifetime ago, but back in 1994, on that day, the previously the worst thing that ever happened to me happened. the 27th of May is the day I died.

It’s a long story, and at least as melodramatic as that last sentence. I came back (obviously, otherwise this blog would be a very unique one indeed) but it was a long and difficult process and one that changed me forever.

For a long time I used to dread the anniversary. But time, as the saying goes, actually does help. I’m not sure exactly when it turned around, but now NTB and I call it my “Surviaversary” and I use it as an annual reminder about second chances and that life is too short to waste and that every day is a bonus.

So what better day to come back here? To come back and try to find the person I was before? It all made perfect sense.

Except NTB and I both came down with shocking head colds, and after dragging ourselves to work, despite feeling like absolute rubbish, we postponed the usual survivaversary dinner, and ordered home delivery and watched a DVD before an early night. I know, I know. Our lavish party lifestyle is to be admired and envied.

Anyway, a day later than scheduled, and after playing over what I would put in this post for at least a week (and ending up with something entirely improvised regardless) here I am.




  1. Glad to have you back Jacki. I’ve missed you…

  2. I’m glad your back.

    Nothing is meant to stay the same, its ok to change and be different. Things that happen are meant to leave an imprint.

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